11/10/07
Oh Erika! where has life led you now? The message that you so desire still has not reached you. Reapeted experiences one after another , yet you have learned nothing that eases this hollow void. …. I tell myself, this only make you a stronger person. But even that brings no comfort nor consolation. I feel weaker by the minute. I rach no resolution, I am blank. I cant seem to remember the last time I trully looked myseft in the mirror, I cannot face myself, I cannot look. I remain only in my mind. I cannot see that Im real, not yet. What torture, what hate. What Am I not able to say in my endless rambling conversations of my life experiences? How is it that I am able to lose all sense and sanity, how is it that I let myself lose control. I give myself completetly and then …. bammm!!! slap in the face!
