Xmas eve
Chrismas eve, the night was cold with a gentle rain. It was late night yet it seemed so early for my usual coming home. I felt restless and lonely. One of the few eves I spent alone. First year in a long time I was not with my family and no friends having a gathering. Trying not to allow myself to get emotional, but the night was chilled and my face felt cold and empty. I walk to the near store. Perhaps in search of something to do other than sit at home. As I walked to the entrance with my head up high I noticed a neighbor walking out. As we mad eye contact, both of us smiled and whispered merry christmas, him too seeming a bit on the low. For a second I felt good that I was not the only one roaming the streets. I walked in the store with no real purpose or specifics on what it was I wanted to buy. I grabbed a bottled water and a cup of joe. Spoiling myself by buying the most expensive water, perhaps to make up for the blackened, over heated most bitter cup of coffee. As I stood at the register I looked down to pull my wallet out. I caught a shiny sparkle from the corner of my eye. I stopped and viewed a bit closer at this shimmering glow on my arm. There it was, I paused. A long strand of light brown hair. Not my own as for I have short thick black hair. Confused for a second I reached quickly to extract it from my jacket. As I touched it, I I paused yet again, almost in movie mode. A flash back of the last time I held her in my arms. I remembered the the night clearly..Shocked at the clarity of her image looking straight into my eyes as we said goodbye. It seemed so long ago and perhaps it was.. I had not worn that jacket in a while. I smiled, I could not bring myself to remove it from my sleeve. It laid there wrapped tightly within the folds of my sleeve. I couldn’t disturb it. I smiled again and gently padded it back against the cloth. I took a deep breath, and with the exhale I realized I had her with me. My night seemed brighter, accomplished. From what?… I don’t know, but there was a beating in my chest that brought me back to life. I felt hot, but in the best sense of the word. I quickly paid for my items and walked slowly but with a gentle pep in my step. With every few steps I took I would look down again to make sure the strand was still there. I arrived home, took my jacket off and placed it gently in my closet. I thought to myself again, I have you with me. At least in memory… As I began to close the door. I couldn’t help myself but to softly touch the sleeve one last time. A voice in my head whispering… good night sweet girl, if not this life time, Perhaps the next… I’ll find u again….. Wait for me……..
