You

Posted by: Akire  :  Category: Relationships

You so carelessly grasp my everything.

God is my reaction!!

my name is akire

Posted by: Akire  :  Category: Blogging, Uncategorized

So here is to another end of the year. It seemed like forever, the road was long and had little visability. But here we are getting ready for another jolly season. althought I still cant wait till its over and done with. Holiday season bumms me out.. blah

Back to work

Posted by: Akire  :  Category: Blogging

Well, i’m back to work, vacation is over… Blah! Back to the daily duties of life. Not too bad of a life, I’m not complaining, just bitching about it.. LOL. Here goes another year…

Camp out

Posted by: Akire  :  Category: Blogging

Third day of camp, chilling and having fun. You might not say that it’s a rush nor a thrill, but however it sure is so much fun. Sitting out here just chilling with your friends. It Might not be the adrenaline rush that most people look for in a vacation, but I look toward to it every year. Just be goof balls and act the fool. Chill, cook, play a game of whatever and relax. Nothing to do and nothing to worry about.
Sometimes I do worry, only because I feel so distant and out of touch. Yet it is so relaxing to just let everything go, at least for a few hours. I miss home in a way. But I think it’s only the routine that I’m so used to, that I panic at the thought of not knowing what’s happening out there. while I’m not there. That alone is a bit of a thrill. But right now I feel a bit buzzed and I don’t care..LOL.

Camp 08′

Posted by: Akire  :  Category: Blogging

Sept. 6th 2008,
Second day of our 3rd annual camping trip. So here we are again enjoying a bit of peace and quiet away from our daily routines of work and home. You might not think that sitting here and doing absolutely nothing can be appealing. However this simple action or non-action, is breath taking. The sound of the birds chirping and the crackling fire, can be so calming and serene. This year we have Vivien and Shelby, 2 new comers to our yearly escape.
What the heck do we do out here in the middle of nowhere you ask? Well we do nothing, that being the point of relaxing. But you do have a choice of sleeping, hiking, walking, reading, blogging, drinking… And so on. The list of nothing is endless. No routines no big plans, just do what ever. The simple action of sitting here and stare at the fire contemplating life or nothing at all is soul lifting, I needed this. Sitting here blogging and seeing Shelby stare at the fire so intensely and Vivien blogging away in her notebook…LOL. The boys went to take a shower and left us girls to bask in the abundance of nature…. so fricken awesome! Cheers then!

My trip

Posted by: Akire  :  Category: Blogging

So here I go. On my way to L.A. With no expectations per se. Perhaps just a bit anxious of what is out there. It’s been so long since my last trip there, almost a decade. I vaguely remember the streets down West Hollywood. I don’t remember being extremely impressed with it. But yet curious about the city of angels and famous folk.
This time however I hope it will be a bit more adventurous. And less in the naive tourist state. Not sure what’s in store for me when I get there but my friend Tammi (who is Nikki’s ex, more on that later if u keep reading) re assures me it will be a complete blast.
The funnies part of all this is who Im going with and whom we will be staying with. Ok, so you ready for this?.. LOL. I’m going on a road trip to Los Angeles with my best friend Nikki, whom by the way is my ex-girlfriend of over 10 years ago, which is who I originaly went to L.A. with the first time. And this time we are going again and staying with her exgirlfriend of about 2 years ago. Ge’ez, we are such your typical lesbians, no question. Well we half way there. More on my adventure later… LOL

Expectations, hopes, wishes and dreams

Posted by: Akire  :  Category: Blogging

Expectations in my view are when you accept no other outcome other than what you have set your mind on. Hopes in the other hand is something you have been setting your mind on,and expect them to be an outcome of actions. Either from someone or yourself. Wishes to me are thoughts in your mind that you’ve been hoping would or will happen at free will. Like something magical you’ve called upon. Now where do dreams fall into place in all of these? I don’t know, my question exactly. Any thoughts out there?

And so my healing begins

Posted by: Akire  :  Category: Relationships

So my friends tell me about this site where I can blog about my feelings, events or simple thoughts. So I reluctantly sign up and wrote my first blog. I have to say it is kind of theraputic. I am horrible at writting none the less spelling. But I decided, hey, what the hell, why not. So here I am spilling away my guts to the internet as it was a long lost friend I haven’t seen in a while. I have so many thoughts in my head, yet I cannot type fast enough to release them all. But Im trying my best. Im sure that after a while I will eventualy become better at this, and not only be able to release some steam, but perhaps be a written lesson for someone out there. And if not, then this will at least be a collection of my rambling thoughts. 

Read more…

My personal public service.

Posted by: Akire  :  Category: Blogging, Relationships

My personal public service, or repeated service I should say, has been to continuously repeat the same fucking mistake over and over again. Not once, not twice, but 4 fricken times in a row. Each one of them I’ve not only accepted but also excused with some sob story about how thats the way love goes. But now Im just really tired of being the one that always understands other peoples inadequacy and or lack of responsability. However I do understand that I too must take my place in the box of blame. Only because I have been arrogant enough to believe that as long as I am honest and kind, people (especially my partners) would return the favor. Therefore I pay for my idiotic presumptuosness. And Oh! what a price!. Even when I sit here and reassure myself that at the end of it all it is them that have lost and I have gained one more experience in my life. But what if Im tired of the same fucking lesson? Do I sit here and blame the fools that have ripped my heart out, not only to stomp on it but piss on it just for flavor. Or do I knock myself on the noggin for pure stupidity. Well aware of what the outcome might be. I Jump blindly to the depths of love (or nowhere) apparently. So to clarify why I view my life as a public servant, allow me explain. I not only fall for women who are younger that me,but who also have not the slightest clue of what honesty and true commitment is. The first two I excuse it with the fact that we were all babies and new to the whole love and dating. However, the last two were stupid , and young. And I cannot bring myself to excuse them, because I too have been young and inexperienced. Never the less, I have never been able to be cruel or dishonest. And when I say young, I dont mean minors. Late 20’s is young but shouldn’t hide behind those curtains of youth and inexperience, thats just gutless and spineless! So I unwillingly become their first mistake,mishap, experience, whatever you want to call it. I serve my purpose in their lives, and then its done. They move on to more or something diffrent, and Im left behind not only alone….. once again,but with an empty nest. What…the….Fuck?! Regardless of what my family and friend try to reassure me with. I know that I must release myself of my curse, I am no ones savior. And the constant repeated words of “someone better will come along”. My final thought cant help to be, Do I really want it anymore?